If you’re like me, you’re all over social media. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Vine, Snap Chat, YouTube, Tumblr, blogs – whatever you can get your hands on that’s interesting.
& if you’re also like me, you’ve had a few bad acts on social media come back to bite you in the butt – especially when it comes to relationships.
Trust me, I’ve made my fair share of social media love mistakes in the past. It’s just so easy to fall into traps that may rub your partner the wrong way. Whether it was a mistimed ‘like,’ a poorly-worded comment, or a sketchy image, I’ve screwed up in the past.
The truth of the matter is, it’s SO easy to get caught up on social media nowadays, even if you’re in a trusting and loving relationship – and I don’t want you to suffer the same fate.
So, in honor of Valentine’s Day, here are Dr. Valentine’s (that’s me) 6 quick tips for NOT ruining a relationship on social media (read all the way to the bottom & if you’ve ever done any of these, you don’t gotta tell anyone, just make a mental note for next time):
1) DON’T ‘LIKE’ PICTURES ON INSTAGRAM YOU DON’T WANT OTHERS TO SEE YOU’VE LIKED
All of the late-night pictures you’re ‘liking’ on Instagram, all of the early-morning creeping you’re doing while sitting on the toilet – it’s all being recorded.
All someone has to do to see what pictures you’ve liked is go to the “Activity” section of their Instagram account and click “Following.” Then, a list will populate of all the photos your friends have recently liked.
If you don’t want your partner stumbling across this section and seeing some raunchy pictures you’ve ‘liked,’ do yourself a favor & don’t like them.
2) DON’T ‘LIKE’ POSTS & PICS ON FACEBOOK YOU DON’T WANT OTHERS TO SEE YOU’VE LIKED
This is similar to Instagram ‘likes.’
If your Facebook privacy settings are not modified to not tell people about posts you’ve ‘liked,’ sometimes your business will be put on blast.
So, even though you’re not commenting on the post, your ‘like’ sometimes triggers Facebook to post an update about you, saying “XYZ liked this post.” And the worst part is that it’s random. The Facebook algorithm will sometimes post an update about a post you’ve ‘liked,’ and sometimes it won’t.
You never know…so you’re better off playing it safe & not ‘liking’ it if you don’t want to have to explain it to your partner later.
3) DON’T ‘FAVORITE’ TWEETS YOU DON’T WANT OTHERS TO SEE YOU’VE FAVORITED
See that Tweet up there? Yeah, that one caused quite a stir.
When you ‘favorite’ a Tweet, it is recorded under your profile. So, even though you don’t retweet it or reply to it, it is still noted under a section of your account.
If you check out my timeline below, you’ll see that there is a section where I can view all of the Tweets I have ever ‘favorited.’ Yes, ALL of them.
The principle here is the same – any and all actions you conduct on social media are recorded somehow…so be careful what you’re clicking on.
4) EDIT YOUR FACEBOOK PRIVACY SETTINGS
One of the best decisions I ever made as I was transitioning from a young fraternity man into a young professional was to modify my Facebook privacy settings.
Before, anyone could tag me in a post or picture, and anyone could post on my timeline – and it would all show up on my profile.
But nowadays, my Facebook profile is locked down tighter than Fort Knox.
No one can tag me in a photo without my approval, no one can post to my timeline without my approval & no one can look my contact information up without my approval.
This has helped tremendously – so, if you value your relationship & don’t like to argue over silly matters, you should modify these privacy settings to your preference as well.
Trust me, you’ll thank me after you wake up the next morning after an “interesting” night out with your old friends and seeing that your Facebook timeline has not blown up with “Wow, I didn’t know you had that in you” comments.
5) EDIT YOUR SMARTPHONE NOTIFICATION SETTINGS
How many times have you gotten a text or a call or an email or a Facebook notification or a Twitter notification or an Instagram notification – and your partner has peered at your phone as if to say, “Who’s that?”
Truthfully, it freaks me out sometimes when my phone dings and my partner looks at it before I do.
Not because I have anything to hide, but because we all know that human beings jump to conclusions, so I just don’t want anything to be misconstrued and misunderstood.
So, you NEED to modify your notification settings!
Make it so that texts can’t be read from the lock screen, or social media notifications don’t come through when your phone is locked. Cover your butt.
Yes, you might be a few minutes behind on new messages or activity you receive on your profile, but trust me, it’ll save you the headaches and heartache of arguing it out later.
6) ESTABLISH ‘TAGGING’ RULES WITH YOUR FRIENDS BEFOREHAND
Alright, I’ve saved the best & most basic for last.
If you don’t want your activity tracked on social media, you can do 2 things: 1) Stay off of it yourself, and 2) Tell your friends NOT to tag you!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been out with friends and have heard the, “Don’t tag me, bro,” request go out.
I used to laugh it off, but it’s true.
And the activity you’re doing doesn’t even have to be anything sketchy. For example, you might be out for some beers with your crew and someone tags you on the scene.
When you get home, your partner is waiting there, asking you how the bar was.
You get flustered so you say it was, ‘fine.’
They answer back with, “So was it just you guys there?”
You see where this is going and respond, “No, there were other people there, but we kept to ourselves.”
They respond, “Uh-huh.”
A mini argument has just ensued over nothing – literally nothing.
So, it’s better off to play it safe and put out that blanket statement while you’re out for a night on the town with your friends or colleagues – DON’T TAG ME, BRO.
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Now, just to be clear, I am in no way stating that these are methods of “hiding” your infidelities…these are merely ways for you to think about how NOT to start an argument with your partner over something silly.
It’s WAY too easy to get caught up in silly arguments over social like these nowadays…so stay away from the fighting, and focus more on the lovin’.
Happy Valentine’s Day & go spread the love <3 😉
PS: I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts on these tips and any additional tips you have in the comments below..